Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going to Talk About

BY JEN SNOW

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Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • She was always searching for the story.
  • He was sometimes searching for her story too.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • Is it necessary for the byline to read, “INTERVIEW CONDUCTED, CONDENSED AND EDITED BY…” ?
  • Why stop there?

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • Are we really going to refer to it as “The Rise of Power Jeans?”
  • We are basically amazing.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • Genetic testing.
  • We ate dinner at 5 o’clock.
  • What are we supposed to do now?

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • What you really think when you repeat “absolutely, absolutely, absolutely,” so many times in a row, affirmatively, like that.
  • Why we can’t stop.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • He did not realize, at the time, that “I remember those boots,” was the wrong thing to say.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • She is the type of woman who is always leaving things like fabric softener at other people’s homes.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • Why haven’t you ordered a copy of Dear Old Love yet?
  • Dear Old Love, the book, costs only $9.95.
  • It is a wonderful book, edited by Andy Selsberg. (I understand this, and I am definitely going to talk about it.)

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • The bus driver made the bus “kneel” even though I was the only person getting on at the stop.
  • It was like the beginning of a New York Times “Metropolitan Diary” story (I was riding the crosstown bus) but random children did not say precocious things out loud at opportune moments.

Things I Don't Understand And Definitely Am Not Going To Talk About

  • There is a shot in Where the Wild Things Are of a toy sailboat and a blue bed sheet and it is a brief moment that is visually stunning and thoroughly heartbreaking and that is the shot that made me cry.